hmm..i pick truth first.
truth is, i fell in love with my very best friend.
(the corniest sentence in the english language…)
tori and i met in college and we quickly learned we had a lot more in common than two people should.
we originally met playing basketball for the college we would eventually both attend. it was during summer training, a month before the semester started. she confessed to me about a year later that at that first practice, she chose me to defend against because i looked “new” and thought she could take me because i was nervous and knew no one there…
the semester started and i noticed she was sitting a few rows ahead of me with a different group of people in one of our lectures.
(don’t worry, this post isn’t about some magical love story… i’ll get to my point eventually)
any who…eventually, our groups of friends joined into one, and i think i said something like “hey, weren’t you at summer training?”
we bonded over our love of the sport we both played and immediately started to recognize similarities in each other.
we became the best of friends.
if there was a party, or an event, or a group project or a presentation, she was my go-to.
(she even accompanied me on a date with some guy to make it more of a casual meeting…we bring that up often and still laugh about it)
she was from the town that i was living in for school, so although she was still technically living at home she spent a lot more time in my semi-dysfunctional student house.
(i love you jenna, katie, cam and john)
okay so where am i going with all of this? i’m really not the type of person to rub in your face how great of a relationship i have and how much more in love i
am than you probably are or ever will be…
however, just for referencing sake to anyone who reads my blog you will now understand the dynamic between tori and i. she’s literally my best friend… and now girlfriend.
(i will spare the details of how that came to be…as that could get pretty cheesy)
so, why truth or dare?
well truth, because the truest feeling i am able to… feel… is love.
what is more true than that?
i often get questioned, or looked at with shock, or asked if it’s “just a phase”
and i have a few things to say about all of the above remarks.
- yes its true, i am indeed dating a female. no, i did not have a horrible ex-boyfriend that “turned me gay because he wasn’t good enough”
- no, i have not been suppressing these feelings my whole life. every relationship i have ever had in the past was special to me in some way shape or form. i have not secretly always wanted to date a girl. i do not identify as a lesbian. i don’t really know what i identify as. but having to categorize myself into “what i am” makes me feel like i am being tossed into some kind of weird sorting machine.
does is really matter what i am? this is who i am. i love my girlfriend with all my heart because she is the most beautiful person i have ever met… inside and out. we match. we compliment each other… and we just work. thats really all there is to it.
- no, i will not have a three-some with you.
(mom and dad if you’re reading this one, sorry you had to hear that. however, it is a twisted question that is asked way more than it should)
so thats the truth, and to anyone else who is in a similar relationship
i’m sure you can understand the struggle of being asked
“you’re a lesbian? but you’re so pretty!??!?!!!”
…. i’m not even going to go there….
well, we covered the truth so here comes the dare…
i dare you to be different.
i dare you to love who you love regardless of what anyone tells you.
i dare you to be fearless and to push your own boundaries. i can tell you that it’s scary to come out to all your family and friends, but i am so happy with the person i am today because of the choices i have made. with only one life to live is it really worth it to bottle up emotions, feelings, or dreams?
i’m not telling you to go venture off into the world and figure out if you’re gay or not.
this applies to every situation.
to any other 22-year old that is fresh out of school, it’s okay to be scared.
dream up something massive.
take a year off and travel the world, you’ll have the rest of your life to pay off your debt.
(warning: i am not a financial advisor)
move to a new city, create your own business, audition for a new role, learn how to play an instrument.
if not now, then when?
and to anyone reading this who is settled into a career or a lifestyle where they don’t have the ability to just get up and move, try to connect with your adolecent-imagination and never forget the things in life that bring you joy, or that once brought you joy.
they are, and always will be a part of you.
i dare you to live today. like…actually live. do something that makes you happy. make a fresh cup of coffee, kiss your spouse, take your dog for a walk, solve a challenging math equation, read some poetry. whatever it may be, do it whole-heartedly.
your life means something, to someone! you are so worthy of an incredible life and i hope you fulfill that.