hi there you beautiful soul,
this is going to be an interesting one.
to be honest,
my heart is pounding out of my chest as i am trying to find the right words to say.
the title of this post is bold. something i am passionate about. something i am still trying to understand. something that truly makes no sense to me.
and i’ll just give a fair warning this post might hit home for some, and to others it might make them infuriated.
i just need to get something off my chest.
irrational fear of, aversion to, or discrimination against homosexuality or homosexuals
according to merriam-websters english dictionary.
according to this dictionary definition, this definition was established in 1969 which was 47 years ago.
when i saw that the first usage of this word paired with this dictionary definition was roughly around 50 years ago…
(i mean, lets hope merriam-websters dictionary is a reputable source)
… i thought to myself, what progress have we made in those 50 years?
a lot i think.
being an openly gay man or women or transgender person is accepted more freely in 2016 than it has ever been, so high-five to society!
but sometimes i stop and think about how lucky i am.
a woman in a same-sex relationship is allowed to live her life, get married, and participate in society just as any other straight women is able to today.
but back in the day, as i’ve heard stories from my parents and relatives… people thought the “gays” were sick. mentally, emotionally, and physically ill.
that turns my stomach which is why this post is in honor of all the men and women and people near and far who have had to live their true life in silence.
behind close doors in fear of being ridiculed and hated.
i’m speaking for you.
homophobia still exists. heck, there may even be someone who thinks gays are sick-minded humans reading this right now, and i urge you to keep reading
as many of you know, i am in a very loving relationship with a female and i love her to pieces. it was challenging to become open about our relationship in the beginning, but for the most part all of my family and friends have accepted both tori and i with open arms and hearts.
rarely, do i come in contact with homophobic statements directed towards myself or my girlfriend personally, and thats either because :
a) i don’t want to hear it and i think people know that so they just don’t go there
b) i just have some really freaking awesome people in my life who genuinelly love and accept me regardless of who i love.
before i get into the whole reasoning behind this post i need to mention someone whom i hold so near and dear to my heart.
my cousin rachel.
for anyone who knows me well, will know how close rachel and i have always been.
she’s my best friend, and everyone in our family knows that.
rachel and i grew up side by side. the same age. the same neighbourhood. the same school.
theres a closeness that we share because we are family, and theres an unbreakable bond we have because aside from being family we are also friends.
as time passed, rachel grew up and realized who she truly was.
a strong, independent, highly intelligent, beautiful, fierce woman.
rachel met chantal in highschool, where eventually after four years,
(you’re a trooper chantal lol)
they established a beautiful and loving relationship which blossomed and is still growing and in full bloom today.
rachel has overcome many obstacles in her journey as a proud gay woman and her strength truly inspires me every single day.
and to be honest, her strength inspired me to write this post.
now, for anyone who’s reading this who could care less about all this sappy emotional mumbo jumbo, feel free to close your internet browser.
as i’ve mentioned before… this is like my diary.
when i have something that brews inside my brain, this is where i write it down…
and piece by piece, it somewhat comes together.
this is something i am passionate about.
i believe in life there is no time for judgement. there is no time for hatred and abuse.
yet, all around me i see it.
i think my opinion is just as valid as someone who cringes at the sight of homosexual interaction and thats why i have no problem saying what i’m about to say.
recently, i encountered someone who questioned my sexual orientation.
and urged for an answer.
“why?” “like, honestly why?” …. “but for real… why?!” “dick is so much better!”
those were the exact, and real questions forced at me while asking why i’m dating a girl.
and since this interaction, my mind has been going crazy. as hard as i’ve tried to brush it off and say, you know what… people just don’t understand.
i refuse to give them the benefit of the doubt.
i refuse to let them think that it’s okay to ask these questions, and demand an answer because they think they are the superior straight human.
below are all the things that have been racing through my mind when replaying this encounter over and over that i wish i could have said in return:
- who are you?
- why are you straight?
- did you choose to be straight?
- sweet. because i didn’t choose to be gay.
- do you think i’m doing it just for fun, and to be different?
- do you know that you sound ridiculous right now?
- are you aware that you are being extremely offensive right now?
- probably not, because your homophobic mind is the sick one.
- it’s 2016!!!!!!!!!!!!!
- educate yourself.
- you suck.
ah…. yup! that feels a lot better.
you know what, i truly don’t mean to offend anyone by this post… but i’m offended by this encounter, and i’m speaking up. because if everyone is entitled to their opinion, and this person was allowed to voice theirs…
then hell, you better know i’m willing to voice mine.
and i’m damn proud of it.
rachel, you’re a soldier.
if anyone i know has had to overcome adversity, its you.
you make me so freaking proud every go* damn day.
the reason why you’re tied into this post is because i’m so incredibly grateful that you have such an intelligent mind and you are able to disregard nasty words tossed your way as well. this is one of the only times i’ve come to direct contact with dumb homophobic content, and it hurt me. so all i have to say is girl, you’re a champ.
you are going to shine so bright as you already do, once people realize how insignificant their homophobic opinions actually are.
and once they realize how detrimental their words can be.
if anyone is offended by the fact that their friend, daughter, son, cousin, aunt, uncle, brother, or sister, is gay. i have something to say to you.
associated with the dictionary definition of homophobia, there are physiological words directly related to the term homophobic. they include:
these words all relate back to an assortment of different mental states of mind.
i think it’s time we leave homophobia behind us.
whether you admit that you might be homophobic or you wish to claim you are not,
i think you should evaluate your perception of people… today. right now.
forget about sexual orientation, why do you care? does it disrupt your day?
why does it matter if someone is gay? do we ruin your day?
what does it matter?
as my rant is coming to a very close end, can we please try to move forward together?
lets try loving and accepting one another.
let’s try seeing past the naked eye.
let’s try moving forward in a progressive way and accepting all walks of life.
let’s just try.
there is a world full of colours, let’s try bridging our feelings and emotions with them. this world is a beautiful place, and it can be an amazing home for us and a really fun place to live… but we need to keep moving forward and growing and accepting.
no more regression.
i’m proud of who i am. and i’m proud of the people that i associate myself with.
and those people know who they are, and they fricken rock.
and if any of you awesome people encounter others bringing you down, i hope you will always stand up for yourself. be proud of who you are because you are so worth it.
don’t allow ignorance and prejudices to define you. you are smart and beautiful and your life is worthy of being lived to its fullest potential.
so you go! go and be you! you’re an amazing gift and you have so much to prove.
(yes, i coloured a rainbow wiener dog.)